Tired
by Freelancestoryteller
Summary: Blaine loves Kurt, Kurt loves Blaine, but having one person to rely on isn't enough. An insight to Blaine's home life. Warning Triggers and possible character death in near future, but not yet.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey! If you've read my 'Christmas Klaine games' you would notice I said I would start on a Kurtcedes fic, I will eventually get around to it, but I've been feeling kind of depressed and sad (for no reason whatsoever, just randomly)so I'm going to do this one. **

**Warning: Major character death. Possible triggers.**

**Set at Dalton when Kurt and Blaine are boarders there.**

'Ok guys, well done today! We are going to kick butt at regional's!' Wes shouted as the boys exited the rehearsal room. Kurt and Blaine walked out hand in hand, Blaine's grip much less steadier than Kurt was used to. Well, Blaine had been acting strange recently, and not in a 'climb on furniture like a weirdo' strange. It was a negative strange, a type of strange that made him eat less, that made the happiness melt from his eyes; he tells Kurt he loves him. He smiles. He kisses him. But non of it reaches his eyes, as though it is a mask that he is wearing.

Kurt knew something was wrong a couple of weeks back, when his boyfriend was singing in rehearsal. He wasn't as energetic, he let a few notes turn sharp, he wasn't trying. Of coarse when Kurt questioned him about it, he insisted that he was fine, he made up and excuse that he had a Harry Potter marathon with his brother and stayed up most of the night. That's when Kurt knew he was lying. He knew that Blaine's family hates what he is, therefore hating him. They weren't subtle about it either. Kurt had never been to Blaine's house on a weekend before, mainly because Blaine doesn't want to go back. His parents are perfectly fine about not seeing their son. The only time they want to see him is when they have arranged a date between him and their friends from Churches daughter. Don't get Blaine wrong though, he doesn't hide who he is. On these dates he always tells the girl that he's gay and that he has a boyfriend. A couple of times, the more liberal religious girls will say that it was perfectly ok and they would go on the date anyway and have a good time, no awkwardness, he had even made quite a few girlfriends. Heck even one time the girl was in the same predicament, she had a girlfriend that her parents disapproved of! However some of the more conservative girls reacted horribly. Up until now Blaine has received three slaps, two girls praying for him whilst on their date, a knee to the groin and two girls running away holding their fingers up in a cross shape at him. But it could have been worse...he could have dated a girl.

Kurt asked Blaine if he wanted to go for their post rehearsal Medium Drip, Blaine smiled at him (still trying to hard) and agreed, but he looked far too tired to be going anywhere.

'Do you know what, I have a lot of studying to do and I know you have already been working so hard, lets just skip coffee and you can go get some rest ok?' Kurt said kissing his boyfriend on the cheek.

'Ok if you insist.' Blaine said, trying to keep a light tone, not that Kurt was buying it. They continued up the stairs and parted to go to their separate dorm rooms. Blaine knew that Thad would be with the counsellors still in the hall, so he would have the room to himself. He pulled out his phone and checked his messages.

_2 new messages:_

_**Dad:**__ Lima bean. 6.30, you're meeting Jenny Estridge. __**Be nice.**__ I think you two could really hit it off._

Blaine sighed, he was so past caring he could just stand her up, but he was too much of a gentleman to do something like that.

_**Unknown: **__Hey lady boy, just so you know, you shouldn't be on this planet._

Blaine read the message over and over again. He knew that. He knew he shouldn't be on the planet, not because of his sexual orientation, but because there was only one person that loved him. It wasn't his mum,his dad, any family member, it wasn't his friends, it wasn't even himself. Kurt. He was the only one keeping him around. If Blaine lost Kurt, the cuts on his arm may just go a millimetre too deep, putting him out of his misery. But Kurt was here, Kurt did love him, and Blaine was strong.

That's what he thought before he went to see if Kurt needed help with his studies.

**CLIFF HANGER! I hope you liked it! I know it's quite short, but it is like 12 am and I have school tomorrow! Please review, it makes me write faster!**


	2. Chapter 2

Blaine made his way down the halls of Dalton, off to see if Kurt needed any help studying. The messages he had just received put Blaine in a really bad mood to say the least. He stopped outside Kurt's dorm room and took a deep breath to calm himself before his boyfriend saw him. He knocked on the door and plastered on a smile before Kurt opened it.

'Hello handsome!' said Kurt giving him a kiss on the cheek, although inside he was panicking. He had only said he was studying because Blaine needed some rest, he actually had his Ipod on shuffle and a life time supply of Vogue out on his bed. 'I decided that I have been working too hard so I took a break, care to join me?'

'Always.' He said still wearing an unconvincing smile.

The two sat down together on Kurt's bed, each picking up an issue of the magazines spread before them. Blaine picked one up and flicked through it mindlessly as Kurt made a couple of noises of agreement and some of outrage, IPod still playing in the background.

_You think I'm pretty without any make up on..._

Blaine was too lost in his own little world, staring at Kurt and admiring him for being the thing tying him to this planet.

'Blaine, are you ok?' Kurt asked looking at him with concern.

'Yes why wouldn't I be?' he said quickly, a little too quickly, snapping out of his own little world.

'You're acting strange. First you don't gush over the marvellous pieces of art before you, you don't speak to me, you don't comment about how many show tunes are on my IPod and then you don't sing along to Katy Perry! What's the matter? Just tell me and I can help you!'

Blaine was upset now, not with Kurt but with himself, he didn't mean to make Kurt worry, the boy had been through enough in his life without his troubles being dumped at the top of the heap of stuff he had to deal with.

'I'm fine! Honestly don't worry about me! I'm sorry...' he began.

'No Blaine. Do not apologise, you have feelings and if they're not good then that's perfectly natural!'

'No Kurt, I'm fine I just must be a little tired, that's all, no need to worry.' He needed to get out of there before he hurt his boyfriend any more. ' I'll just leave you to have some Kurt time, I'll just go and sleep it off.' Blaine made a dash for the door.

'Blaine. Don't do this. I know you're not great with telling people your feelings, but bottling up is hurting me even more. I know you. You put others first, you think I don't want to know Blaine, you think it will be easier to keep it to yourself, to bottle everything up. But Blaine you must know, I can't love you when you act like this.' Kurt said as watching his boyfriend, frozen, back turned to him in the door way.

'I'm fine.' Blaine mumbled, trying to ignore the sound of his heart ripping apart. He ran back to his room as fast as he could, praying that Thad wasn't there. He wasn't but there was a note.

_Gone to the Lima Bean with Wes and David, be back in around half an hour.- T_

Blaine sighed as he flopped down onto his bed. Kurt didn't love him like this. But Blaine knew that he was in a bad place and nothing was going to change, he was just too naive to notice how loveless his life was, until he compared the love Kurt gave him to the love everyone else in his life gave him. Sure he was respected by the Warblers, but they hardly cared for anything but his talent and charming stage presence. Then he thought of his family, both close and distant. They didn't love him either. His dad was the worst, he would rather have his father disown him, get him an apartment and have him away from that awful house, but instead his father chose to constantly bug him, put him down, and try to change him. But then he had Kurt. Kurt who smiled when he saw him, Kurt who looked up to him, Kurt who was beautiful and saw the same in him. Kurt who would love him unconditionally...well the last one had turned out to be untrue. Because where would Kurt be without him? He would go to New-York, become a star, meet a nice guy who loves him and that he loves back. Kurt could have it all now that he has more confidence.

Kurt didn't need Blaine around. Well who did then? Nobody. He hogged all the solos, he consumed more food than he was worth, the water he drank could go to someone who was worth the water, he was wasting air as he spoke? Why waste all these? It was selfish.

He ran into his bathroom after tugging off his blazer and he looked up his left arm. There were his scars. One for each person that he had hurt or upset, he felt the need to punish himself every time he did wrong by someone. Fainter scars, higher up were from when he was 14. He had broken up with a girl because he knew he was only dating her to please his dad, before he came out. When he told her, she cried. He felt so bad he wanted to make up for it, so he took a razor to his forearm. Too scared of cutting too near his wrist. He repeated this every time he hurt someone. There were two quite obvious scars, closer to his wrist. Although done years ago, he cut deep when he made them. They stood for his mum and dad, after he came out. Although he had all of these scars from friendship fights, to coming out, to even just bumping into someone in the hallway once, there was one gap, right on his wrist. He swore he would only cover that patch when he had no reason to live anymore. That time was now.

He ran to grab his razor blade and sat in the bath, not wanting to cause a mess. He discarded his blazer before pulling up his sleeve again. But then it hit him. If it was going to be his last day, he should at least write a note right? Leave _something_ to prove he existed? But then he thought that nobody would care either way. So he texted his dad.

_**To Dad: **__Can't make tonight, sorry not well._

_**From Dad:**__ Man up._

His dad was right. He needed to man up. He was wasting precious air right now, he was trying to distract himself my texting his in the first place. Angry with himself he brought the razor up to his wrist and presses it over the trails of blue that were his veins.

One-For hurting Kurt

Two-For hurting his family

Three-For being a burden to everyone

Four...Blaine dropped the razor, too weak to make anymore lines. He could feel himself getting light headed, until the point that he couldn't even feel his wrists any more.

'Hello.'

'Kurt! It's Thad get down here right now it's Blaine, he's in... with the... I can't speak, Kurt get down here now!' Thad sounded terrified, it scared Kurt, Thad was always so composed.

'I'm on my way, Thad, listen to me, keep breathing.' Thad took a deep breath. Then Kurt heard people barging in on the other end of the line. 'Thad who is that?'

'The...the paramedics.'

Kurt slammed his phone shut and shot out of the door, leaving it wide open. He sprinted down the corridors to get to his boyfriend, he was terrified.

He reached the room and ran in to find paramedics in Blaine's bathroom. He rushed past Thad who was explaining something to one of the women, entered the bathroom and looked over the paramedics that were knelt over the bath, where he saw what was bound to be the worst thing he would ever see. Directly below him lay his boyfriend, still, pale and surrounded by his own blood. He couldn't speak. He couldn't move. He couldn't think. He stood there for a few seconds before a paramedic directed him away.

'Who is this?' the paramedic asked Thad.

'That's Kurt, he is...was...is Blaine's boyfriend.'

'Kurt I need you to listen to me. Do you have anyone you can call to take you home, this must have left a mental image.' Kurt still sat lifeless. 'Kurt can you hear me? I need you to get yourself out of here, you don't look to good.'

'Save him tell me you can save him.' Kurt said in a monotone voice, still not looking at the man in front of him.

'We will do all that we can, but truthfully, it may not be enough.' He said solemnly.

**Well Blaine is still alive in case that wasn't gathered, in the next chapter Kurt will have a chance to talk to him. I have the next chapter planned out, I will try to write it on Friday, maybe tomorrow if you're lucky. Please review because that's the only way I encourage myself. Also I want to know what I am like as a writer as I have English creative writing exams coming up and I would like to know what you like and don't like. Thanks x**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here is the last chapter of this fic, it's going to be sad! I don't own glee, please let me know if you like angsty/tragic fics, or should I stick to fluff?**

'Blaine.' Kurt couldn't think of any words. Blaine and he were in the ambulance, but after being told that Blaine won't make it, he has lost all ability to speak. 'Blaine...why?' he spluttered out between the tears trickling down his solemn face. He couldn't see a world without Blaine. Strong, happy, crazy, talented, adorable Blaine. The Blaine before him, he wasn't real. This was a nightmare, this was a dream. Any minute now he would wake up. He and his boyfriend, the only person he truly ever related to, would snuggle up and watch Moulin Rouge or RENT, singing along to the songs, maybe ending up in the make out session.

'You...' Blaine whispered weak. ' You couldn't love me any more. When I was that way. I was never going to change. The Blaine you saw everyday... he was a mask, a secret identity. I got tired of being cheerful all the time. I felt like I was cheating myself.' Kurt whimpered, fighting back a cry. 'But you Kurt...' Blaine took hold of Kurt's hand. 'You don't deserve me. You need to wait. You need to wait and find someone as confident and as beautiful and as kind and as loved as you are. Not someone who is going to be a burden, someone who isn't as good a person as you.'

Kurt was sobbing now. 'Blaine, if only you had told me, we could have got through this. I would help you, I would never leave your side.'

Blaine noticed the language Kurt used. _Could have, would._ He knew he was going. He was losing too much blood. Blaine was getting dizzy.

' I thought Kurt. I tried. I won't change. My life...my life was not worth living without you.' Kurt felt his heart wrench, did he cause this? His sobs became louder. 'Kurt listen to me. It's my idea, I chose this. I saved everybody any trouble I had caused. This way I stop upsetting people, I stop getting upset by people. Now I am free. Now I have no worries.' Blaine's voice started to trail off, as his eyes started to roll back. Kurt gripped his arm, shouting at him in distress, anything to keep the best person he had ever met on this planet.

'Blaine, please don't do this to me! To us! You are wonderful and beautiful and the best person I have ever met!' Blaines eyes started to close, the beautiful amber eyes that Kurt fell in love with, they were closing forever, the last evidence of life was leaving his face.

'Blaine _please!_' Kurt cried in desparation. 'Remember? Courage Blaine, courage!' Blaine's heart stopped.

Blaine was dead.

Blaine. Blaine who gave him a friend. Blaine who gave him someone to relate to. Blaine who was his real first kiss. Blaine who was his first boyfriend. Blaine who was his first love. Blaine who gave him courage.

Courage. That is what Kurt needed.

He wiped the tears from his cheek and leaned over Blaine's body. He kissed his stone cold cheek. Then bent to his ear and whispered.

'You are perfect to me.'

**Fin. Please let me know how much or little this affected you, I need some feedback. Any suggestions for a new fic will be awesome. Sorry if you hated it Please review.**


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